Tall Poppy Syndrome: The Silent Killer of Friendships

Losing Friends from Success: Understanding Tall Poppy Syndrome

Why is it that when you finally achieve success, some of the people closest to you suddenly turn cold? Dr. Kevin Reese explains this phenomenon through the lens of Tall Poppy Syndrome—a term that originated in New Zealand and Australia.

What Is Tall Poppy Syndrome?

Tall Poppy Syndrome happens when someone feels you’ve grown “too tall” or too successful. Instead of celebrating your progress, they try to cut you down. This isn’t the same as random online haters—who are usually strangers. Tall Poppy Syndrome happens with people you already know: parents, siblings, friends, or coworkers.

The Root of the Problem

The person trying to cut you down often thinks they’re doing you a favor, claiming you’ve gotten a big ego or need to be “brought back down to earth.” In reality, their behavior comes from insecurity, jealousy, and being a low achiever themselves. Rather than feeling inspired by your growth, they project their own shortcomings onto you.

The Trap of False Humility

Dr. Reese warns that humility can sometimes be a mask. People may act humble but think differently inside. He argues that authenticity matters more than false humility. If you’ve worked hard and achieved results, it’s okay to flex a little—share your success, celebrate milestones, and inspire others.

Drawing the Line

Celebrating your wins is different from rubbing them in someone’s face. True success is about authenticity, not childish bragging. Some people will cheer for you, hug you, and feel genuinely inspired by your growth. Others will resent you. The key is knowing who belongs in your inner circle.

Keep Growing Your Tree

Tall Poppy Syndrome isn’t a sign you should shrink—it’s proof you’re on the right path. As Dr. Reese reminds us, keep growing your poppy tree taller and taller. Don’t let the insecurities of others cut down your progress.